Parisian Paradise: Hotel Exquis Awaits Your Arrival!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we’re diving headfirst into the Parisian Paradise: Hotel Exquis Awaits Your Arrival! And trust me, my expectations were sky-high, fueled by perfectly curated Instagram photos. Let’s see if reality could even begin to measure up.
SEO & Metadata (because, you know, gotta play the game):
- Keywords: Parisian Hotel Review, Paris Luxury Hotel, Accessible Paris Hotel, Spa Hotel Paris, Hotel Exquis Review, Paris with Kids, Free Wi-Fi Paris, Hotel with Pool, Hotel with Restaurant, Accessible Travel Paris, Paris Vacation, French Hotel.
- Meta Description: A brutally honest review of Parisian Paradise: Hotel Exquis! We delve into its accessibility, spa, dining, and everything in between. Hear my hilarious, messy, and utterly human take. Is it truly paradise? Find out!
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag, Sadly.
Alright, first things first, because as a seasoned traveler, I know it matters massively. Accessibility is the elephant in the room, and I'm gonna address it with the grace of, well, someone who's lugged their suitcase up way too many stairs. The website said wheelchair accessible. Okay. But the reality felt… nuanced. The lobby? Beautiful, wide, mostly clear pathways. Elevator? Present. But the hallways to the room… well, let's just say if you're navigating a wheelchair independently, you might need a GPS and a prayer. Some doors felt a bit tight, and I definitely wasn't seeing all the listed facilities for disabled guests that was stated there. Sigh.
My Take: It claims accessible, but double-check everything before booking if accessibility is a non-negotiable. Contacting them directly would be wise.
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: This needs investigating as I couldn't find the accessibility information.
Internet: Bless the Wi-Fi Gods!
Thank heavens for reliable Wifi, because after a long flight, the first thing I need is a connection. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms? Check! Wi-Fi in public areas? Double-check! Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services… you name it, they had it. The speed? Surprisingly decent. I could actually upload my disastrously blurry selfies without waiting an eternity. Phew. The ability to stream Netflix in bed post-jet lag made this weary traveler extremely happy.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Spa-tastic! (Mostly)
Okay, the Spa was a definite highlight. A full-on oasis of calm. I am all about the pampering. Sauna, Steamroom, Massage, Body Wrap, Foot bath, Body Scrub – I dove in headfirst, and it was glorious. I mean, proper, glorious. The Pool with view? Stunning. I spent a solid two hours pretending I was Audrey Hepburn, sipping something fruity and watching the world go by. Pure bliss. The Gym/fitness was well equipped, modern. Although, there was some construction going on, so the noise did tend to disrupt my yoga session.
My Take: Book a spa treatment. Seriously. It's worth it. Just bypass the yoga and head to the pool.
Cleanliness and Safety: Covid Concerns Addressed (Mostly)
I’m gonna be honest, post-pandemic, I'm slightly neurotic about cleanliness. So, the fact that they claimed things like Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment put my mind at ease. Sure, I still wiped down everything with my own little travel wipes (a habit I can’t seem to break!), but I felt relatively safe. I mean, they even had Hand sanitizer everywhere. And some staff actually smiled behind their masks, you know? A sign of humanity!
My Take: They’re trying, and that’s what matters. I give them a thumbs up on this front.
Dining, Drinking, & Snacking: C'est Bon! (Mostly)
Okay, let's talk food. The restaurants and poolside bar were decent. The A la carte in restaurant was a bit pricey, but the food was good, not spectacular. The International cuisine in restaurant menu was extensive, but I’m not sure if I'm an expert. The Breakfast [buffet] was… well, a buffet. Again, decent. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was free! The Desserts in restaurant were to die for. The Snack bar was helpful. The Room service [24-hour] was a lifesaver after a late night.
My Take: Don't expect Michelin stars, but you won't starve. The room service is a win.
Services and Conveniences: A Mixed Bag
Air conditioning in public area? Yes. Concierge? Super helpful (which, let's face it, is a GODSEND in Paris). Daily housekeeping? The room was spotless every day. Elevator? Check. Luggage storage? Also check. Gift/souvenir shop? A bit pricey. A few glitches. And the one time I needed the dry cleaning? They lost a blouse. My favourite blouse. So, that was a bit of a drama.
My Take: Some things, like the concierge, were aces. Others, less so. Hope you don't lose your fav blouse.
For the Kids: Family Friendly, But…
They advertised as Family/child friendly, with Babysitting service, and Kids meal. There were definitely families there. I don’t have kids, so I can’t give a definitive review here.
Access, Safety, and Security:
CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms. These are great to have. \ Available in all rooms:
Ah, the rooms. They looked exquisite in the promo photos. And they were… okay. They had Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Desk, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Mini bar, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Seating area, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Wi-Fi [free].
Sure, they had the essentials. Interconnecting room(s) available? Not for this traveler. Maybe for others. One tiny thing that annoyed me? The window was a bit tricky to open for fresh air.
My Take: The rooms are fine, but not quite the "Parisian Paradise" described.
Getting Around:
The Airport transfer was super convenient. But let's be honest, I mainly used Taxi service. There's Car park [on-site] and you could Car park [free of charge], but who wants to drive in Paris?
Final Verdict: The Messy Truth
Parisian Paradise: Hotel Exquis? It's a mixed bag, honestly. The spa is amazing. The location is decent. The staff are generally lovely, and they try. But accessibility could be improved, and there's room for improvement. Overall? It’s a solid choice. Does it fully live up to the promise of “Paradise”? Maybe not. But it's certainly a lovely place to rest your head after a day of exploring the City of Lights.
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 croissants (one point docked for the lost blouse!)
Satu Mare's BEST Hotel: Unbeatable City Views & Luxury!
Alright, buckle up buttercup, because this is less an itinerary and more a frantic scribbling of a soul recently acquainted with the glorious, chaotic, and utterly charming Hotel Exquis in Paris. And trust me, "exquis" is doing some serious heavy lifting here.
Day 1: Arrival & Initial Panic (aka "Where's the Goddamn Metro?")
- 10:00 AM: Arrived at Charles de Gaulle. Jet lag? More like "Jet Lag Apocalypse." My brain feels like a melted ice cream cone. Found my luggage (miracle!). Proceeded to fail spectacularly at understanding French public transport. Seriously, the Metro map looks like a Jackson Pollock painting. After an hour of wandering in circles, and a near-meltdown in a crowded station (screaming "Où est le métro?!?!” probably didn't help), finally, finally figured out the route. Success! (Mostly. Accidentally got on the wrong train, natch.)
- 12:30 PM: Check-in at Hotel Exquis. Oh. My. God. It's even more… Parisian than I imagined. Tiny, with those impossibly high ceilings and a scent that's half-fresh croissants, half-old books. The receptionist, a woman named Chantal who looks like she personally knows every famous artist in history, is impeccably elegant and makes me feel instantly underdressed. Tripped over my own feet while trying to look sophisticated.
- 1:00 PM: Room acquired! Tiny, but adorable. Seriously, I think I could touch both walls at once. Window faces a courtyard with more character than most people I know. Tried to unpack but mostly ended up sprawling on the ridiculously comfortable bed, contemplating the meaning of life, the universe, and why my socks always disappear in the wash.
- 2:00 PM: Lunch at a little bistro nearby. Ordered "something with potatoes" (my French is… developing). Wound up with a mountain of the most delicious Pommes Frites I've ever tasted. Dipped them in the provided aioli, completely lost track of time, and nearly forgot my entire reason for coming.
- 4:00 PM: Attempted to see the Eiffel Tower. Okay, this is when it started to unravel. The crowds… oh, the crowds! Managed to glimpse the tower for about 3 seconds before getting shoved by a particularly zealous selfie-taker. Gave up, bought a ridiculously overpriced crepe, and sulked.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a tiny restaurant recommended by Chantal (bless her). Amazing food, and even managed to muddle through ordering in French. The waiter, a young man with more charm than should be legally allowed, poured me a glass of wine. Said, "You need this. First day in Paris can be a bit… overwhelming." He wasn't wrong.
- 9:00 PM: Collapsed back at the hotel, utterly exhausted. Watched a dubbed French movie on TV, understood absolutely nothing, and fell asleep drooling.
Day 2: The Louvre & The Existential Dread of Art (and Croissants)
- 8:00 AM: Woke up feeling marginally less like a zombie. Coffee and a croissant from the bakery downstairs. That croissant? Life-changing. Seriously. The perfect, flaky, buttery… sigh I could write sonnets about that croissant.
- 9:30 AM: The Louvre. Prepare yourself. It's massive. It's crowded. It's… actually, it's awe-inspiring. Saw the Mona Lisa (tiny! seriously!), but got more caught up in the sheer volume of art, the history, the stories behind it all. I got lost. Several times. Contemplated my place in the universe while surrounded by centuries of human creation.
- 12:30 PM: Lunch in the Tuileries Garden. Bought a baguette and some cheese from a market stall, found a bench, and felt like I was in a movie. Briefly considered moving to Paris and becoming a baguette aficionado.
- 2:00 PM: More Louvre. Tried to focus on specific pieces this time but ended up wandering aimlessly, overwhelmed by beauty and the sheer weight of artistic achievement. My brain started to ache.
- 3:30 PM: Coffee break at a charming cafe. Needed a pick-me-up after the emotional rollercoaster of art. People-watching is fantastic. So. Many. Stylish. People..
- 5:00 PM: Found a tiny bookstore. Got lost in the smell of old paper and the thrill of discovering a new author. Ended up buying way too many books, thinking I'd magically learn French if I just owned enough French novels. (I’m still waiting on the magic to kick in.)
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a restaurant with a very, very long line. The food was worth it. I think. I was so tired I barely remember. Just the distinct taste of coq au vin and the lingering taste of wine.
- 9:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Exhausted but also… buzzing. Paris has a way of doing that to you.
Day 3: Montmartre, Romance, and the Curse of Tourist Traps (and the Most Amazing Crepe Ever)
- 9:00 AM: Decided to attempt Montmartre. Got on a bus, which was a triumph in itself.
- 10:00 AM: Montmartre. Ah, the romance! Cobblestone streets, artists selling their work, the Sacré-Cœur basilica gleaming white on the hilltop. Touristy, yes. But undeniably charming. I actually thought I could paint, then realized I could barely draw a stick figure.
- 11:00 AM: Found a little cafe overlooking the city. Ordered a coffee and a crepe. This is where the magic happened. This crepe? It was beyond anything I could have imagined. Nutella, strawberries, whipped cream… I'm pretty sure I ascended to a higher plane of existence while eating it. This needs its own section!
- 11:30 AM: The Crepe Incident: Okay, this deserves its own subheading. I ordered a crepe. It was the crepe. Nutella, strawberries, whipped cream, enough to make a saint sin. I sat there, basking in the Parisian sun, the smell of sugar and happiness surrounding me. I took a bite. My eyes rolled back in my head. It was an experience. An event. I closed my eyes, savouring every morsel. Opened my eyes and the entire stall was gone. I would still be standing there in a sugary coma, but the crepe stall was gone, and I was utterly alone.
- 1:00 PM: Wandered around Montmartre, trying to find a little less touristy, but still romantic, area. Still searching.
- 2:30 PM: Tried to visit the Moulin Rouge. Line. No.
- 4:00 PM: Found a sweet little used bookstore. Bought a vintage French book (that I'll probably never read).
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a bistro I stumbled upon. Didn't understand the menu. Pointed at something. It was delicious.
- 8:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Feeling slightly heartbroken that my perfect crepe experience will never be repeated, but still utterly charmed by Paris.
Day 4: The Parisian Dream (and Departure)
- 9:00 AM: Woke up. Had one last croissant. It was good, but not that good. Nothing will ever compare to that crepe.
- 10:00 AM: Wandered the Latin Quarter, pretending to be a student again. This time, managed to locate the metro.
- 12:00 PM: Checked out of Hotel Exquis. Said goodbye to Chantal. Promised to return. (I will. I must.)
- 1:00 PM: One last café au lait. One last Parisian moment.
- 2:00 PM: Heading to the airport. Goodbye, Paris. You are a glorious, messy, infuriating, utterly enchanting place. And that crepe… I'll never forget that crepe.
- 3:00 PM: Failed to comprehend instructions, once again, at the airport.
- 4:00 PM: Departed.
This itinerary is probably terrible. It's chaotic. It's incomplete. It's filled with my own personal neuroses and a frankly unhealthy obsession with a single, perfect crepe. But it's me. And it's Paris. And that's the only thing that matters.
Jeju Murray Pension: Your Dream Island Getaway Awaits!
Parisian Paradise: Hotel Exquis Awaits Your Arrival! - Or Does It? Let's Get Real.
Okay, Let's Be Honest: Is 'Exquis' Actually *Exquis*? Like, REALLY?
Alright, fine. Let's get the elephant in the room, or rather, the slightly chipped plaster in the ornate lobby, out of the way. "Exquis"? Yeah, they're *trying*. Some parts? Absolutely. The view from my junior suite? Breathtaking, legitimately. I spent a solid hour just staring out the window, sipping lukewarm coffee (more on that later) and feeling… well, vaguely Parisian and important. Other parts? Well, let's just say my hairdryer had a personality, and it was basically, “I hate you, I hate your hair, and I'm quitting.”
So, "exquis"? It *aspires* to be. Think of it as a slightly faded, but still gorgeous, debutante. A little creaky, a little over-the-top, but undeniably charming. And hey, that's Paris, right? A little bit of charming decay goes a long way.
The Rooms: Are They Tiny Little Shoe Boxes or Can I Actually, You Know, *Move*?
Okay, this is where things get...variable. I booked a junior suite, so I was *relatively* good. I had actual space! Enough to swing a cat! (Don't worry, I didn't. I have a cat, and she'd be *mortified* at the thought of Parisian dust bunnies.) My friend, bless her heart, went for the "cozier" option. Let's just say she spent a lot of time rearranging the (adorable, tiny, impractical) desk to accommodate her suitcase. Think strategic packing is essential. Seriously. And if you're claustrophobic? Might want to brace yourself.
Bonus points for the beautiful, ornate furniture that makes you feel like a character in a historical drama. Minus points for the fact that half the drawers stick. It’s a love-hate relationship, really.
Breakfast: Croissants and Champagne Dreams or Soggy Toast Nightmares?
Okay, breakfast. This could be the deal-breaker. And… it's complicated. The croissants? Were absolutely *divine* sometimes. Flaky, buttery, the perfect start to, well, everything. The coffee? Hit or miss. One day it was like a hug from a barista angel, the next… lukewarm dishwater. Honestly, it’s like they have a secret coffee-voodoo ritual that changes daily. The fruit selection was lovely, though! And the little jams… oh, the jams! I could have eaten those with a spoon.
The real gem of breakfast, though, was the people-watching. You get a front-row seat to everyone's morning dramas: The perpetually stressed business traveler, the honeymooning couple gazing lovingly (and slightly annoyingly) at each other, and the (me) who just wants another croissant. It’s pure entertainment!
Location, Location, Location! Is it Actually Convenient or Am I Going to Be Stuck on the Metro Forever?
Okay, the hotel's location? *Chef's kiss*. Seriously, it's fantastic. Close to everything, but not *too* close to the tourist hordes. Walkable to so many iconic spots. I mean, I practically tripped over the Eiffel Tower on my way to breakfast (okay, maybe not *literally*, but you get the point!) I spent a day just wandering around, getting lost in the charming side streets.
And for heaven's sake, take the Metro! It's an experience. Just… watch out for the pickpockets. I didn't get pickpocketed, thankfully, but I saw a guy looking awfully shifty near the Louvre. Keep your wits about you, and you'll be fine.
The Staff: Are They Warm and Welcoming, or Do I Need to Brush Up on My French Immediately?
Okay, the staff. This is where things got a little… *interesting*. Some of them were absolutely lovely. Smiling, helpful, utterly charming. They spoke perfect English, made me feel like a queen. Others… well, let's just say my rudimentary French skills got a serious workout. I swear, I think one receptionist actually rolled her eyes at my attempts to order a croissant. (Fair enough, my pronunciation is atrocious). But hey, that's Paris, right? A little bit of French *sarcasm* is part of the charm. It's a cultural experience, you know?
Pro-tip: Learn a few basic French phrases. It goes a long way. And be patient! They are, after all, human beings. And they likely deal with *a lot* of tourists every day.
Let's Talk Amenities: Is There a Spa? A Gym? Do They Even Have Wi-Fi That Works?
Okay, amenities. This is where the 'Exquis' label starts to wobble a bit. There's no spa. Not a single, solitary massage table. Which, honestly, was a bummer after all the cobblestone walking. And the gym? Let's just say it was... small. Like, "exercise in the closet" small. But the Wi-Fi? Ah, the Wi-Fi. It’s the true drama. It worked... sometimes. Other times, it was like trying to communicate with a particularly stubborn pigeon.
I spent a solid hour in the lobby one evening, futilely trying to upload a particularly artsy photo of a baguette (don't judge me!). I finally gave up and just enjoyed the glamorous lighting. So, pack a good book and a healthy dose of patience. You can also always hunt for wifi spots nearby.
Okay, Spill the Tea: What Was the *Worst* Thing That Happened?
Alright, fine. You want the juicy stuff? Here it is: the hairdryer. But not just *any* hairdryer. The hairdryer of doom. The hairdryer that decided, on the second morning, to stage a full-blown revolt. It started with a series of ominous sputtering noises. Then, a puff of smoke. And finally, silence. Followed by the most passive-aggressive whine I’ve ever heard from a piece of electrical equipment.
And you know what? I panicked. Not because I couldn't dry my hair, but because it symbolized something bigger. The fragility of Parisian beauty, the inherent chaos of life, the fact that I was completely, utterly alone in a foreign country with frizzy hair. I had to call the front desk and then they tried to tell me "Maybe it was the voltage." The voltage was not the problem. The damn device didn't work! It was a saga. This hairdryer... it was the villain of my trip. I *still* get triggered thinking about that damn machine.
