Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Sancrest Residence Deltamas Cikarang!
Okay, strap in, buttercups! This is gonna be a review of a hotel, not some sterile brochure. We're diving deep and letting the real stuff bubble to the surface. Buckle up, it's gonna be a messy, honest, and hopefully, hilarious ride.
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Title: Hotel Review: The Good, The Bad, and The Truly Bizarre (Plus, Accessibility & Wi-Fi Woes!)
Meta Description: My brutally honest review of a hotel, covering everything from the stunning spa (hello, pool with a view!) to the infuriating Wi-Fi, accessibility issues, and the questionable "Asian breakfast." Prepare to be amused, informed, and maybe a little bit horrified. We're diving deep! #HotelReview #TravelReview #Accessibility #Wi-Fi #Spa #HonestReview #TravelBlog #Vacation #Hotel
Keywords: hotel review, accessibility, wheelchair accessible, Wi-Fi, spa, pool with view, restaurants, dining, cleanliness, safety, service, facilities, rooms, travel, vacation, honest review, negative review, positive review, Asian breakfast, international cuisine, fitness center, gym, steamroom, sauna, massage, room service, 24-hour front desk
Alright, so I just got back from… well, let’s just call it a “stay.” And let me tell you, it was an experience. This wasn’t some carefully curated Instagram paradise; this was real life, folks. Let’s break it down, shall we?
Accessibility: The Siren's Song of "Mostly Accessible"
Okay, first things first: Accessibility. This is where things got… complicated. The website boasted “wheelchair accessible” but that, my friends, is where the truth started bending like a rusty coat hanger. While there was an elevator (thank goodness!), the ramps were steeper than my grandma’s disapproval of my tattoos. Navigating the lobby felt like a stunt in a low-budget action movie. Seriously, I'm a perfectly able-bodied person, and I was winded. I can’t even imagine… You could tell they tried, bless their hearts, but the execution felt more like an afterthought than a genuine commitment.
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: I think one of the restaurants was…mostly. The tables were spaced alright, but maneuvering around other guests felt like a very polite game of bumper cars.
Internet: The Great Wi-Fi Deception & LAN Nostalgia
Ah, the internet. The modern traveler’s lifeline… or, in this case, the digital equivalent of a leaky faucet.
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Oh, the promise! The siren song! The… failure. It existed, theoretically. In reality, it was slower than a sloth on tranquilizers. I spent more time staring at buffering icons than actually using the internet.
- Internet: Okay, okay, they technically had it. But like… barely.
- Internet [LAN]: Remember LAN? The days of plugging in Ethernet cables? Yeah, that was listed as an “available feature.” I actually laughed out loud. Like, who in 2024 is packing a LAN cable?
- Internet Services: Let's be real: the only service was a constant feeling of frustration.
- Wi-Fi in public areas: Slightly, marginally better in the lobby. But still, you could feel the collective sigh of disappointment from everyone trying to check their emails.
Things to Do/Ways to Relax: From Heavenly to Headache-Inducing
Okay, now for the good stuff… or, at least, the potentially good stuff.
- Body scrub, Body wrap: I skipped these. My self-esteem can only take so much pampering. I'm also a little claustrophobic. And skeptical.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: The gym? Small, but functional. Felt like a glorified broom closet.
- Massage: I caved. It was glorious. One of the few truly redeeming qualities. Really, really good. Worth the price. A blissful hour of escape.
- Pool with view: And THAT view? Breathtaking. Seriously, the pool area was stunning. The kind of place where you feel instantly calmer, even when a rogue child is cannonballing into your personal space.
- Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom: All present and accounted for. I'm not a huge sauna person, but the steam room was a nice touch, after a long-ass flight.
- Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: See above. Magical.
Cleanliness and Safety: A Pandemic-Era Odyssey
This is where they tried. Bless 'em.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good.
- Breakfast in room: Never ordered it. I needed to escape.
- Breakfast takeaway service: See above…
- Cashless payment service: Smart. Makes things easy.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Yup, you could smell the bleach.
- Doctor/nurse on call: Comforting to know.
- First aid kit: A necessity.
- Hand sanitizer: Plentiful.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Standard.
- Hygiene certification: They showed it.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Good for peace of mind.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Mostly observed.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: A bit of a reassurance.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Interesting.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Seems so.
- Safe dining setup: Felt okay.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Hope so.
- Shared stationery removed: Smart.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Seemed to be.
- Sterilizing equipment: Present.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Culinary Adventures (and Misadventures)
Food. Ah, the heart of any hotel experience. Let's get messy:
- A la carte in restaurant: Solid.
- Alternative meal arrangement: Probably.
- Asian breakfast: Here’s the drama. The "Asian breakfast" was… unique. It was a buffet with an unspecified selection of… things. Some were good, some were… experimental. Let’s just say it included a dish of what looked suspiciously like cold, congealed rice noodles swimming in something that vaguely resembled fish sauce. I tried it. Once. Never again. Seriously, I think the cats would refuse that.
- Asian cuisine in restaurant: Not really. See above.
- Bar: Okay, the bar? Good vibe. Nice cocktails. A safe haven.
- Bottle of water: Always appreciated.
- Breakfast [buffet]: The scene of the crime!
- Breakfast service: The staff was friendly, bless 'em.
- Buffet in restaurant: The source of my breakfast woes.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: Fine. Standard.
- Desserts in restaurant: Don't remember them. Possibly a repressed memory.
- Happy hour: Nice touch.
- International cuisine in restaurant: Mostly. Some of the 'international cuisine' was… questionable.
- Poolside bar: Perfect.
- Restaurants: Several, all with varying levels of success.
- Room service [24-hour]: Lifesaver after a late night.
- Salad in restaurant: Edible, but not memorable.
- Snack bar: Good.
- Soup in restaurant: Actually, pretty good.
- Vegetarian restaurant: Probably had some options.
- Western breakfast: Safe bet.
Services and Conveniences: The Usual Suspects
- Air conditioning in public area: Yes. Thank the heavens.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events: Yep.
- Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: The usual suspects, mostly functioning.
For the Kids:
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: I didn't travel with kids so I cannot vouch for these.
Access, Security, and Room Rundown (The Nitty Gritty!)
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property: Good. Made me feel a little safer.
- Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private]: All good.
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to delve into the chaotic, air-conditioned heart of Sancrest Residence Deltamas in Cikarang, Indonesia. This isn't your pristine, Instagram-filtered itinerary; this is REAL LIFE, with all its spills, thrills, and questionable decisions.
Sancrest Residence: My Totally Unsolicited Itinerary (and Therapy Session, Frankly)
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Aircon Crisis
14:00 - 15:00: The Airport Shuffle to Sancrest. Okay, so I actually landed in Jakarta, which is a whole separate saga involving a screaming baby on the plane and a customs officer who really loved my passport photo. The journey to Cikarang? Let's just say the traffic was biblical. I swear, I saw a family of monkeys overtake a scooter. Finally, FINALLY, we roll up to Sancrest. The lobby? Perfectly… functional. Standard hotel lobby stuff. Check-in was painless, which I appreciated after the travel marathon.
15:00 - 16:00: Room Recon & The Aircon Trial. My room: clean, modern, maybe a little… soulless. But hey, I'm not expecting the Taj Mahal. The crucial test? The air conditioning. And dear god, IT WAS A DISASTER. It either blasted arctic winds or wheezed pathetic warm air. I spent a solid hour wrestling with the remote, muttering obscenities under my breath in three languages. Finally, I found the sweet spot: a precarious balance of chill and "I'm not sure I'm breathing anymore". Victory… sort of.
16:00 - 17:00: The "Where's the Nearest Warung?" Quest. Jet lag is a beast. Hunger is a monster. Combining the two? Disaster in the making. I NEEDED food, and not the fancy hotel kind. The quest for a local warung (small, local restaurant) began. The hotel staff was helpful, pointing me towards a place "just a short stroll." Famous last words. "Short stroll" translated to a sweaty, mosquito-infested trek that left me questioning my life choices.
17:00 - 18:00: Warung Revelation (or: How I Learned to Love Spicy Food). I eventually found a tiny warung, buzzing with locals. The menu was a jumble of Indonesian words I didn't understand. I pointed at something that looked vaguely palatable and prayed. It turned out to be Nasi Goreng with, like, a MILLION chilies. My mouth was on fire. Tears streamed down my face. But… it was DELICIOUS. I devoured it. And then ordered another one. (Note: I might be addicted to chili now. Send help).
18:00 - 21:00: Poolside Existential Dread. The hotel pool looked inviting, so I thought, refreshing chill time, and made my way. It was…okay. The water was a bit too tepid for my liking, and the chlorine smell was intense. Also: This is where my jetlag really kicked in. I stared blankly at the water, contemplating the meaning of life, the futility of travel, and whether I should just order room service instead. The thought of actually making human interaction went through my mind and I promptly gave up.
Day 2: Deltamas Exploration (or, the "Why Did I Book This Place?" Phase)
08:00 - 09:00: Breakfast Trauma. Hotel breakfast. Always a gamble. This one was… adequate. Scrambled eggs that tasted vaguely of cardboard, a questionable selection of fruit, and coffee that barely resembled coffee. I ate enough to stave off the immediate hunger pangs, but my soul yearned for that chili-laden Nasi Goreng.
09:00 - 12:00: Deltamas Adventure: (Lost in the Suburbs). Okay, so Deltamas is basically… a sprawling suburban wasteland. There are a few malls, some golf courses (??), and lots and lots of identical-looking buildings. I tried to "explore" (read: wander aimlessly), and quickly regretted it. The heat was oppressive, and all I found was a bewildering array of construction sites and empty parking lots. I started fantasizing about air conditioning and the comfort of my hotel room.
12:00 - 13:00: Lunch and the Shopping Mall of Disappointment. Again, lunch. I went back to the local warung, of course. I'm a creature of habit now. This time I ordered some variation of chicken with rice. More chills! This time I knew what I was getting into, so I was far better prepared.
13:00 - 16:00: Double Down on the Aircon Nightmare. Seriously, I went through several iterations. From arctic blast freezing, to a gentle breeze of humid air. The remote has been my mortal enemy and then my best friend. I'd given up on the pool. The lobby was… passable. But the room was my own private hell.
16:00 - 17:00: Sunset (or: Another Existential Crisis). I went back to the tepid pool to watch the sunset. And contemplated the meaning of life. It was pretty. Not mind-blowing, but pretty. And then, I thought of how I spent the whole day just trying to be at Sancrest and not at "Deltamas".
17:00 - 19:00: Dinner and The Warung Encore. Went back to the warung. And got the same order. I am absolutely sure the warung owner thinks I'm a crazy person. But hey, at least my taste buds are happy.
19:00 - Bedtime: Netflix, Chill, and the End of the World (Aircon Edition). This is where I admit defeat and embrace the Netflix life. I finished my show. The aircon was… tolerable. And I fell asleep, dreaming of chili and escaping Deltamas.
Day 3: Departure & The Final Verdict
08:00 - 09:00: Breakfast, Briefly. Same breakfast. Same disappointment. But at least I knew what to expect.
09:00 - 10:00: Last-Minute Panic Shopping (for Chili-Flavored Souvenirs). I tried finding something to take home. But I just ended the day with disappointment.
10:00 - 11:00: The Dreaded Airport Run. The traffic was… still bad. But the memory of the air conditioning trials and the Warung's delicious food, kept me going.
11:00 - 12:00: Goodbye, Sancrest… and Maybe Goodbye, Sanity?. Okay, so Sancrest Residence Deltamas wasn't the romantic, life-altering experience I'd envisioned. It was a bit… bland. A little… frustrating. But hey, I survived! And I learned a few things: 1. Air conditioning is a precious commodity. 2. Indonesian food is amazing, even the super-spicy stuff. 3. Sometimes, the most memorable travel experiences are the messy, imperfect ones. Would I recommend it? Hmm… Well, if you're looking for a no-frill place to rest your head, Sancrest will suffice. But don’t expect magic. Expect… an adventure, a real adventure. And don't forget to pack your chili-tolerance!
So, like, What *IS* the Point, Anyway? (Also, Coffee.)
What Should I *Actually* Be Doing With My Life? (Help!)
How Do I Deal with Disappointment? (Seriously, I'm Bad at This.)
What About Relationships? (Ugh, The Dreaded R-Word.)
And Work? (Is There a Way Out?)
What's the Deal With All the *Stuff*? (Consumerism, I'm Looking at You.)
How Do I Deal With… The World? (It Can Be a Bit Much.)
Money, Money, Money… Will I Ever Have Enough?
